Ask me to pack a suitcase, and "traveling light" simply does not compute. But, take away half of my kids for the weekend and you are speaking my language. Wahooo!
I find it almost amusing to see how much my perspective has changed with the adding of each arrow to my quiver. Once was the day I was stressed out to the maximus by the duties and interruptions of having just one child. I cringed at the thought of taking him with me to my doctor or dentist appointments. I attempted very little in the way of, well...anything, such has house projects or commitments outside the home of any kind. I had only a couple friends who also had only one child and we would get together often and talk about who knows what all afternoon. Really important stuff, I am sure. Like, how much we had calculated the cost of Huggies and Pampers wipes to be per wipe and which scent of bath wash we liked best. Whether we used liquid fabric softener or dryer sheets, and why we thought it was very important for babies to always wear shoes. Deeper topics of conversation might include how long we pushed during labor and whether we said any swear words or defecated during said phase, and whether we would send our fall birthday infants to Early 5's or straight to kindergarten in five years. I had no hobbies. How could I? What with all my socializing and rigorous personal napping schedule. I was the mother of a small child and I was tired. Who could expect any more of me?
In some ways nothing has changed. I am still tired. And I still love my naps, though they are much fewer and farther between. I still find myself overwhelmed frequently. And why wouldn't I? Having four children is a lot like having one, only there are three more of them.
But yesterday as I breastfed David while getting my teeth cleaned, and while my other three preciouses waited in the waiting room unattended after going garage saling all morning with all four of them, I had a little time to think about what HAS changed. Not just that I now use WalMart brand wipes and I have no idea how much they cost or that it has been months since I have spent time with friends. I pondered how much my adaptation and survival skills had evolved and wondered when this process had taken place. When I had I been able to start doing more with less time and energy? When had I decided it was better to just get up and go and do, with all my 40-12 kids in tow, than to lock myself and them away in the prison of my own home and failed expectations with my lengthy to-do list and the ever-fleeting hope of a nap hanging over head?! I couldn't remember.
Julia left yesterday afternoon for a trip with Amy and family, and Jeff and Andrew are going on a boys-only outing, leaving me with only two, albeit the highest-maintenance two, for the weekend. While it is still one more than I had when I was too consumed and distracted by my one not-even-very demanding child to be of much use in an any other capacity, it seems like quite a vacation. I have already been planning all the projects I will accomplish and all the quiet time I will enjoy in their absence. I am getting my hair colored tonight and I am going to cook some adult food for only me. I might rent a movie, or better yet, read a book...with WORDS.
I still use liquid fabric softener, except for on the days I don't. And I still enjoy the scent of Baby Magic, though I have found that in a pinch dish soap works and smells just fine too. But the best part of what has changed is that having four children means that having only two of them for the weekend means a 50% reduction and that is traveling very darn light!
8 comments:
I had to pop some Prozac to finish reading...but, I am glad you are getting a break of sorts.
Even though I'm on a different level with my two, I surely can relate to that doing-more-because-you-have-to-thing that each child demands. I laugh to think of all the things I "couldn't" do when pregnant with Ethan.
Have a good weekend, me friend!
I have my Prozac days too, lady, don't get me wrong. I thought of attaching a disclaimer full of qualifying statements including that I am actually somewhat insane, that sometimes my children eat cake for dinner, that both my daughters attempted to ride me bronco fashion as I knelt in the middle of my living room earlier this week pleading loudly unto Jehovah for patience and self-control, AND that the spacing between my children accounts for some of the more sane moments I do enjoy.
My hair is freshly highlighted and I have eaten an entire Hershey bar. One child down for the night, one more to go. The weekend is off to a great start so far.
I wasn't even popping the pills for my own sake this time...I just started getting depressed reading about your own lack of 'me time'. Seriously, you deserve a real break.
You make me laugh quite heartily, my dear! My first laugh was about swear words and "defecating" during labor. (F-bombs away, anyone? My hand's up. I apologized to my midwife, who was quite nonplussed.) I am so glad I am not the only very human mom. Today I said hardly a word to my kids until probably after dinner, when my mood improved so much that I was actually quite sociable and goofy. And yes, I did look into prozac, but I was scared of side effects.
I don't want to tell you that there will come a day that you have to make a "coffee date" to get face time with your daughter.
You will say: "I miss you."
And, she will say, "Awww, I miss you too. We should hang out sometime next week."
It is true, I know. Oh, to live in the moment and without wishing for tomorrow.
Lest I sound like too much of a martyr, I must say I am happier now than I have ever been and I wouldn't have it any other way.
You lose two for the weekend, I gain two...how does that work?
Four isn't so bad. Stop belly-achin' would ya?! Sheesh.
this post tells me that you are amazing and I have no right to complain about anything ever again. How do you do it?
Post a Comment