Boogie Man

Last night after the children were nestled all snug in their beds, Jeff decided it would be a prime opportunity to watch Saving Private Ryan. He had already seen it a half dozen times or so, but he had just purchased his own copy the day before and was anxious to break it in. Not being a fan of war flicks myself, I chose to take advantage of the quiet time to catch up on some reading and emailing, etc in our bedroom with the door shut: my sanctuary, my retreat...Oh the sweet solitude! It was delightful, minus the 6 or 8 times Andrew came in to tell me that he couldn't sleep, and then again to tell me he was hot, and then again to tell me he had already read all of his chapter books that he had just checked out from the library 2 days earlier, and then again...

But finally all the monkey business ceased and not a creature was stirring.

It had been a long couple of days. Kathryn had been raging with a fever of unknown origin for the past 36 hours, most of which I had spent holding or otherwise comforting her in some small motherly way. All day I couldn't wait to just cool down, literally, after soaking up so much heat from her fervid little body. It wasn't unbearably warm last night, so being ever mindful of the effect of rising energy costs on our summer family budget, I opted to leave the window AND blinds open rather than to run the A/C all night. This is a highly unusual occurrence at our house. I don't like open windows and I HATE open blinds.

So I sat on our bed situated in front of the open window, with the partially open blinds, with all my projects sprawled out around me as I savored the silence, when suddenly it was shattered by the very distinct sound of a watch alarm clock going off. It beeped several times and then stopped. This shouldn't be cause for concern except for, um yeeeah...we don't happen to own any watches at this house right now. And if we did, they would not be of the alarm-clock-going-off description.

Terror gripped my heart. My pulse quickened. All the blood in my body rushed to my already sweaty face. What to do now? This is why windows and blinds need to remain in the down position at all times, how could I have been so foolish? I was certain that whoever was out there with his big, fat, scary, hairy watch alarm going off on his big, fat, scary, hairy arm had already seen me. My doom was sure. But I couldn't just sit there helplessly, as he lay in wait to leap through my window and gobble me up. So after gathering all my courage, away to the window I flew like a flash, cranked down those blinds and drew in the sash.

There. I was safe. NO BODY could get through that window now. No way, no how. As I slowly regained my composure, I desperately tried to identify some other electronic device from which the noise could have come. It sounded ever so vaguely familiar, but at the same time so frighteningly foreign. I just couldn't place it. In any event, I assured myself that I had truly been braver than I believed, stronger than I seemed, and smarter than I thought. I mean, I had not even disturbed Jeff or Private Ryan with so much as a whimper. I had acted as a strong, independent woman and I was a better person because of it.

I read for another hour before calling it a night. I tidied up the bed and smoothed the linens before climbing in. Oh, but wait! What is this little bump I feel under the sheets that is just about the shape and size of the digital thermometer that goes BEEP, BEEP, BEEP and then STOPS??? Almost at this very moment of discovery, Jeff came in and we had a good laugh at my terror resolution skills. No boogie men bothered us the rest of the night.

And this concludes my first and very lengthy blog post. Anyone still reading?