Mommmmm

I know there will come a day when I will miss having every sentence I hear from dawn to dusk out of the mouth of my babes begin with "Mommmmm" and quickly followed with the blow of yet another request or demand, but right now I just can't imagine that day.

"Mom, LOOK...Mom, watch this...Mom, he kicked me in the butt...Mom, can we make cookies today, you said...Mom, will you sit with me?...Mom, can I sleep on your floor tonight?...Mom, maybe later if we...can we...after that if it's not snowing can you take us...maybe if Dad gets home in time can we...Mom, you said yesterday that if...so can we now....can we later...can we maybe...maybe if we do maybe can they come too...Mom, how come you never let anyone come over...Mom, why did you get her three and me only one...Mom, you never...MOMMMM you always...Mom, what are we having for dinner tonight...You KNOW I HATE that...Where do you think we will go on vacation this year?...Do you think we'll ever go to Disney again?...Mom, I don't think people like my drawings and people don't play with me at recess...Mom, what does this mean?...Can I go on the computer?...Mom, after he's done can I go on?...Mom, can I order a online...you said...how do I...will you show me...where is my...maybe after David goes to bed maybe can we go to the rec center...Mommmmm, what are we going to do today anyway...are we even going to do ANYTHING?!"

And this was all before I was out of bed this morning. Okay, not literally, but it felt like it.

Kool Aid

I love learning new words. Always have. I have subscribed to Webster.com's word of the day. I grew up with It Pays to Enrich Your Word Power. I keep a notepad handy when reading anything, and frequently make mental notes throughout my day of words and pop culture phrases to dissect and define at a later time. Trashy as it may be, a richly valuable resource I have repeatedly referred to is urbandictionary.com. Just yesterday I was baffled when I heard "kool aid" used in a context which sounded very much as if it meant someone's girlfriend. So quickly I hit the bookmarked site to discover that indeed...

Kool aid: In the deepest parts of the hood--can be meant as a metaphor for someone's personal business...A man's personal business. Specifically his girl.

"You best be steppin' off! Why you all up in my kool aid?"..."Back off my kool aid!"

I likely will never have occasion to use this gem, but at least now I know.

Name Game

"Boys in the United States with common names like Michael and David are less likely to commit crimes than those named Ernest or Ivan." (Full Article)

Good news for all the David's in our life, and our uncle Michael Jackson, but yeaaah...I'm concerned about my dad, Elmwood. And what about Evan? And what about my friend's brother whose name is David Michael Ernie? Can the two former good names redeem the latter? Is there any hope?

Jukebox Hero

You know you are old when you totally rock out to the Foreigner concert aired on public television on a Friday night and consider it quality entertainment.

"I am the ice cream man...running over little kids in my van!" ~As sung by Grant D. Morris to the tune of Iron Man by Black Sabbath

Street Swagger

Here's my entry for yesterday: There are some days in motherhood when I feel as if my brain cells are literally falling from my ears landing where'er they may all about my house, much like socks dropping from my armload of fresh, warm laundry as I walk from the dryer to my bed to fold it, dropping a few more each time I bend over to gather the lost pieces, but then there are days when I am SO stinkin' magnificently brilliant that I swear I must have some of Rhonda Randall's blood running through my veins...and then I remember that I kind of do!

Just giving a shout out to my Street peeps, but only the SMART ones...the less mentally endowed need not respond. =) Abram's and Hazen's shall be recognized another day. But raise your hand if you love Busch beer and NASCAR! Here, here!

Another element I would like to include in my blog this year, on the days I actually write, is a quote at the end of each entry: either something I have read or something that has been said in my presence that day. Thanks for the idea, DL. And maybe I will get better at posting on the day it happened rather than the morning after. Maybe.

"But I knew one thing: I knew silence, which like an exotic poison - odorless, tasteless - brings a subtle madness to the victim." ~The Story of a Marriage by Andrew Sean Greer

Distilled Goodness

U.S. News and World Report suggests keeping a simple diary as #20 in the "50 Ways to Improve Your Life in 2009" cover story.

"Distill your day's experiences into a single sentence each day. Call it a "clothes hanger" journal: It provides a framework on which to hang the larger raiments of memory. A few well-chosen words can transport you back to where you were days or years ago. And-if you're persistent-it can show you the shape of your life over time."

I absolutely adore this idea! Unfortunately since I am not and never will be a woman of few words, and because I have so much clutter littering my mental landscape, and because so much happens in a "typical" day this task seems overwhelmingly daunting.

So yesterday's distilled entry could have read something like this, "Detroit is a scary place and I am glad I do not have to live there or get accosted by the butch half of an African-American pregnant lesbian couple or the the socket wrench-wielding man at the stoplight."

If I could condense it further, and if I were a better word weaver, perhaps I could find a way to also include that I really enjoy days that my mother keeps David; I don't enjoy cleansing melted chocolate from the entire contents of my purse, including my iPod, in a public restroom; I wish someone would just confess to putting their fundraiser packet in the fridge in order to ensure it grabbed my attention fully; Enchilada soup isn't nearly as good in the crockpot; and that was a reeeeeeally good book I started reading before bed last night.

A Long Good-Bye

Today it's been a year. Already. It doesn't seem possible...and all those other cliches. What can even be said that hasn't been said? Thought that hasn't been thought? Felt that hasn't been felt? We love you, Mom, and miss you dearly!

A Christmas Greeting

DO! holiday times!
shove a warm blesses
the now all a man kind
is participate spirit love

let's so gift! a present
make many eat food family
sing a musics, take a joy
yes! it's celebrate to
each every one we!

(An Engrish.com Greeting)

The beauty of this Christmas message will sadly be lost on many of my readers, if not most. But to those who get it and to the one who sent it, Merry Christmas and thank you for getting me and my wacky love of humor and misused words!

And Merry Christmas to the rest of you...and to all a good night!

In the Toilet

Umm...yeeah! I'm pretty much ready to turn the page on this

chapter of my life. One word: David.

Any questions?

Wishes

Today my firstborn baby boy turned 12.
Happy Birthday to the boy who just told me,
"I LOVE life!"

Masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Stained Glass Masquerade, Casting Crowns Lifesong Album

Happy Birthday, Sharon Mary!

Today is my mother-in-law Sharon’s first birthday to pass since she died on January 7, 2008. She would have been 63 today, September 6.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Never have those unwritten words had more meaning than this year. At the time it was taken, none of us would have imagined where we would travel together as a family over the next 4 years. Fortunately, those travels did include several more memorable camping trips together, but they also included a most unexpected turn on a journey of grief into completely unmapped territory.

This particular birthday was her 59th, celebrated with all but one of her children and their families at a campground in Alpena, Michigan. It was the day before Labor Day, and the day before her actual birthday, because we would be leaving to travel home the following day and there would be no time to celebrate.

I remember the weekend well with surprising clarity, at least little details. I remember that we all went down to the beach and Sharon played with the younger grandchildren making sand castles and such while some of the mom’s and dad’s ventured out to a water trampoline/slide out in the middle of the lake. I remember that Jeff and some of the brothers-in-law got up to go fishing with his parents at dawn on Sunday morning. I remember renting a pontoon and taking turns taking rides. I remember we ate all the meals together at our rented camper because we had the largest awning. I remember renting low-rider bicycles and doing all kinds of tricks with the kids. I remember laughing and laughing and laughing around the campfire as Meridith entertained us with Larry the Cable Guy impersonations and undoubtedly seeing Sharon shake her head and say, “That Meridith!”

We were all together and doing what we do best: laughing and making memories.

These pictures hold hilarious memories for those of us who were present. Notice the cake.

Jeff’s dad, Dave, aka Butch, had made a special trip out to WalMart to buy a cake to honor his bride on her special day. Upon his return to the campsite, as he was stepping up into their 5th wheel travel trailer carrying the cake, he somehow lost his footing and fell backwards down the steps, landing flat on his back on the ground. It was a miracle he was not seriously injured, but more miraculous was his effort to salvage the cake in the midst of his fall. It was smashed to smithereens on the inside of the lid, and I think a blade or two of grass might have sneaked in the side, but other than that it was entirely edible. I remember singing Happy Birthday with tears in my eyes because I had laughed so hard at how pathetic the cake looked, how filled with chagrin Jeff’s dad looked, and how tickled pink Sharon looked in spite of it all. Among other things, she was a good sport!

Happy Birthday, Sharon Mary! Thank you for the lessons your life has taught and still are teaching me, and all of us. We miss you and love you!

Mudslide

Thanks to David House Sr. of Lapeer Photography for these fabulous photos of Julia's fun this weekend. Click here to see the rest of the mudslide adventure.

First Day of School 2008

Kumbya

We camped this weekend with approximately 14 other families from our church. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I honestly was not looking forward to it...hardly at all. In fact, I was kind of dreading it. I knew it would be fun once we got there and settled, but all the preparation and packing and clean-up, and disrupted sleep in impossibly close quarters with a now notoriously, boisterously loud screeching toddler, along with lack of proper sanitation and hygiene opportunities for 3 days, and forced social interaction seemed like more work than I was up for this week.

But surprisingly...

The weather could not have been more perfect. We ate very well, okay that wasn't a surprise...we have some rockin' awesome cooks in our church. But I was able to bathe myself and my children daily. I didn't forget to pack a single thing that really mattered except my powder brush (thank you, Diane) and a couple kids' items (thank you, Dave). And much to my great delight, I had a TON of help with David (thank you EVERYONE!) from people who were remarkably tolerant of his volume. I got to sit around the campfire, sometimes even next to my husband, and visit and laugh with other adults into the wee hours of the morning while my children slept...like babies! I even managed to finish several sentences and amuse others at my own pitiful expense.

Most importantly, I connected with people. I don't make that a priority often enough and I suffer the consequences. Being a hermit is overrated. This weekend I feel as if I enjoyed genuine fellowship even though I loathe that word, and cannot believe I just typed it on my own blog. Most, if not all, of our interactions were less than sublime, yet I came away feeling much more connected to my church body as a whole, and therefore more committed to it...whereas going into the weekend, amputation was a thought not-so-very-far from my mind.

Among other things, I made some new friends. Some were humans, one was a guinea pig named Rosie. I learned some new songs, and remembered some old ones. I took some long walks and 3 turns on the "Blob". (See video below.)

And nobody sang "Kumbya".

We have already reserved the same spot for next year and I can't even wait!

(The first one is of me "blobbing" Andrew into the water...the second one is of me being "blobbed" by our pastor's daughter. Unfortunately, my best blobbing stunt, in which I was catapulted at least a dozen (slight exaggeration) feet in the air and landed horizontally, was not captured on video.)

Public Enemies

This really happened today. The first series of events took place in approximately a 30 minute timeframe at the food court of the mall:

As we entered the food court, I was nearly having a stroke over how much money I had just blown on such precious few "on sale" items...with a coupon! It sickened me. I was mentally tallying the expenses yet to come in our week. This left me stressed and having difficulty breathing.

I had promised the kids we would not just go to the mall, but that we would EAT at the mall as well. Going to the mall at all is a huge treat, but eating there is off the charts of coolness in their books and it was supposed to be our last fling before school starts next week. Of course they chose the restaurant with the longest line and the most inept counter help, with the most visible and distasteful tattoos.

I needed to use the bathroom BAD.

The line was going nowhere fast. It was going nowhere.

David was acting like a maniac...shrieking like a banshee. LOUD. Deafeningly loud. I was trying to do my best at quieting him without getting arrested at which time some pretty young thing, presumably with no children, walked by and gave us "a look" and said, "Seriously!?!" Yes, beooootch. Seriously. This is my life. I was outraged, but of course did nothing. My reaction shall be played out in my fantasies for years to come.

We silently consumed our food that cost $19.47. All of us except David, that is, who continued to
attract all manner of evil looks from all corners of the court. Tension filled the air. I was thinking to myself that my parenting today made Kate Gosselin's look like Ma Ingalls. I hadn't been terribly unkind, I was just so distraught all day due to various other factors that I had hardly spoken a word beyond what was necessary to communicate. But even that is unkind. At one point tears came to my eyes. Only one fell before I made myself STOP!

As promised I allowed them to play on the playground of foamy food in the middle after they were finished eating. Within minutes, Kathryn who had been gathering her courage to jump from the watermelon slice to the cupcake, apparently too slowly for the liking of the impatient little girl behind her, was pushed to the ground about 3ft down. She wasn't hurt, but very traumatized that another child would be so malicious and offer no apology. She continued to touch and poke and pull her for the duration of our stay, with no parent anywhere in sight.

Meanwhile, Andrew who was too tall to play, per mall rules and regulations, was helping me keep on eye on the little ones. He was sitting down at the end of a large foamy tipped over cup of soda waiting for David to crawl out the other end. I didn't see it happen, but a small boy kneed him in the face. Hard enough to knock his glasses from his face, but thankfully not break them. He cried. Hard, which is notable for a boy of almost 12 who doesn't weep easily and seek the comfort of his mother publicly. Accidents happen. I really don't think he meant Andrew any harm. His face was just in the way of his knee and one of them had to move.

So we decided to use the bathroom, FINALLY, and be on our way which was an experience in itself. After a few more stops we were on the road on our way home back to Lapeer where people aren't as MEAN!

We traveled several uneventful miles, still pretty quietly, before someone cut me off in traffic.

It happens. I stopped in time. Nobody was hit. No big deal.

But wait, what did her bumper sticker say? Oh yes, "Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an a**hole."

I was irked fo sho, but what was I going to do, really? I didn't even honk. I certainly did no gesture.

Somewhere along the way a short while later, she turned off and that was the end of her.

Safely back to our hometown, I put my signal on to change lanes. Mine was obviously slowing to a standstill. I waited for a break and then darted out. Close, but not THAT close to the car behind me. Not at all. I was watching. So Ms. Silver Car is outraged and honks loudly, repeatedly to make me aware of my wrongdoing in the event that I missed both her tall man fingers standing upright on both her and her passenger's hands in my rearview mirror.

Oh boy they were really giving it to me good!

My first reaction was to laugh it off once again, but then I had the sudden urge to honk back louder and longer. Why? Because I could. So I did.

They remained behind me and stayed a safe distance back. Until we came to the next intersection at which point I needed to go straight and they needed to turn into the left turn lane right next to me. I looked straight ahead, never casting even a sideways glance at them until I heard something hit my van window...as in MINE...the driver's side. More fingers were flipped as they sped around the corner and out of sight when the light turned green, as if on cue. I looked down to survey the damage and I saw a blob of grease running down my window, probably containing trans fat, no less, and one lonely little nugget on the ground where it had fallen to its death.

I required about 45 minutes to decompress and reflect and rest when we got home, after putting quiet David in his cage for a nap and before starting dinner.

The rest of the evening at home and at the kids' school open houses was as peaceful as could be.

Andrew is to be credited for the title of this post.

And tomorrow's another day!

Niagara

Lunch in the park before we began our trek down the full length of Falls Ave.

Julia began to get the idea that you don't play in the falls as we approached.

David applauding at the sights.

Resting about halfway down. It was SO hot!

This is one of my faves

The kids LOVE this one!

One of our last glimpses as we were leaving.

African Lion Safari

We had the pleasure of visiting the African Lion Safari in Cambridge, Ontario over the weekend, followed by a day of fun at Niagara Falls. As always, I don't feel as if I have enough time to write all I would like to about our family adventures, but I wanted to at least give a sketch of our time through photos and video.

I must warn you that the video contains graphic sexual content and male baboon genitalia can be visualized...rather closely. We were having difficulty identifying the genders at first as their roles were confusing and everything was happening so quickly, but this cleared things right up. If you anticipate finding this offensive, please avert your eyes. If not, please enjoy. It was hilarious!

Also, I might add that Andrew is not taking the Lord's name in vain in the video clip. He is, however, saying "Oh my gosh!" which I have said entirely too much through the years, therefore my children say it frequently. It didn't used to bother me, but as with so many things, you don't realize how it sounds till you hear it coming out of your children's mouths again and again. We are working on it.

This one was just funny...

All of the rest of the pictures were taken through the windshield or side window of our van with my very wimpy zoom lens on my point and shoot camera. Just giving perspective. It was unlike any trip to the zoo to actually drive through the reserve and see the animals interacting so closely. It was an incredible experience which I highly recommend, baboon penis and all.

Desperately Seeking Burger

Anyone have any fresh ideas for a dinner that includes a pound of burger?

If so, please share!

NOW!

=)

My name is Kathryn Foley and I am a motivational speaker...

Today I overheard Kathryn "reading" aloud to herself...

"If you're trying to do something and it's really hard and you just can't do it, you need to STOP TRYING!"

Where have I gone wrong in my parenting?

Maybe it's because I live in a van down by the river.